Cartoon Network’s Reality Show “Survive This”

Ok i know allot of people out their are bitching and moaning about this and i understand them its hilarious I here by congratulate cartoon network for broadcasting “survive this” a live action show that exploits teens.  Well i’ve seen the show and get this, the show is about some guy that dumps a bunch of wannabee kids who think they’re bad asses into a forest and just leaves them there to survive then comes back occasionally to check up on them just  to make sure they’re not dead.  I know right??! hilarious! and its on cartoon network! The most amusing part of about this show is seeing the kids say things like ” I’m not going to give up” and then moments later on the show you see them cry their little hearts out saying “I’m so done i can’t do this”. I have to to admit at first i blasted cartoon network for showing live action teenage drama on a channel that is suppose to be for cartoons and only for cartoons but if seeing some teens suffer trying to survive in some forest eating nothing but plants and frog legs makes me happy then i guess its ok.

I was feeling poetic so i made this!

Sadness Ends

A cold empty girl
lonely and out of place
she looks out to me with a frozen face

her hair is short and dark
her skin is pale and sweet
her eyes are dark
empty in desperate need for me

She has no light in her life
happiness is nowhere in her sight
overwhelmed with sadness its my soul shes after
she wants to end it with a happily ever after

she cries out “Take me im all yours!”
exposing her week body, i sink my teeth into her neck
she cries out with a soul full of regret saying
“it… hurts please… stop”

light has now entered her mind
Not knowing what she had done
The past thoughts she had were now gone
she cries out for help …It is too late now

Now you will feel the last rush of happiness
as i swallow the rest of your blood
I will not rest until all your blood is gone
your sadness will be over when im done!

You know how they say “money doesn’t make you happy”?

You know how they say “money doesn’t make you happy”? well i actually have found it makes me quite happy! Especially when i have more to spend
just the other day i was having a normal boring day when i decided to go to the mall with my cousin and check things out. Later on i spotted a cool sweater, my eyes expanded and i smiled i then realized “money = happy Mario” and come on who wouldn’t be happy with a new sweater?  and if you disagree your a liar :p

Male G-Spot

well we all hear about the female g-spot but recently i found out about the male g-spot, now does everyone know were it actually is? lol i wonder why nature intended it to be that way. and here all this time i thought it was somewhere else. 0_o and a question for the guys out there, would you let your women do it on you?

I only waste $20 on food every month!

Trying to keep up with the economy isn’t so easy now  a days. Well to be honest the economy hasn’t affected me as much as everyone out there says with all the complaining about how things are so expensive, I’ve always had to pay bills i still am.  So i have begun to make life easier on myself more then it already is by buying cheaper stuff, even though i really don’t have to i just do because it does really save me allot of money and its actually fun.  So I’m going to tell you how I  save lots of money but of course i am making a sacrifice. i did it and I’m still fine. I tend to stay away from the fast food places a good meal at a fast food place will cost me around $5-6 dollars if i want to be satisfied. I’m the type of person that thinks “more for my money” I want to look out for more quantity rather then quality. my monthly food expenses equal to about $20 is that pretty impressive? haha. Now allot of you are going to think im crazy but these are the core things i eat the majority of the time:

Bolillo Bread

It is about 15 cm (six inches) long very good and big i love the warm fluffiness inside,  the crunchy outer layer  and the best thing about it is they are only 25 cents! remember “quantity over quality”  two of these will get you full best for breakfast but i usually have it a night time with Friends. You can save those $5 dollars and buy 20 bolillo breads that covers breakfast!

Maruchan

As i explained in my previous maruchan post you can get 12 maruchan soup cups for about $3 or so it might go up to $4 but its still worth it since its 12 soup cups! buy 2 box sets and you have 24 maruchan cups. for only $6-8 dollars!

Now you know my secret! haha well i hope this helps! ^__^

Every sperm is sacred-The Chinese Nuns who harvest Sperm

The Chinese Nuns who harvest Sperm

So Asians have better skin. Do they have to rub it in our faces? a friend told me that they have good skin because they all eat fish…uhh…im having seconds thoughts about the fish.  i have Recently found out an ancient Chinese beauty secret After going threw this book: the semen facial, on my mission to find out the secret to unlocking eternal youthfulness and immortality i came across something hilarious.

So basically There’s this uh, sort of monastic Taoist order of sexual nuns in china called the white tigress society. Their whole “mission” is to harvest as much sperm as they can, rub it all over themselves, and apparently not age. I guess it works for them. The part I think is funniest is that they have to go out and “harvest” it like do they go out and squeeze the leftovers of condoms??? HA!! wait…there wasn’t any condoms back then.

“White Tigresses engage in two primary oral practices to revitalize their yin and yang energies. In the first, Congealing the Dragon’s Jade, she makes use of male semen to restore her skin and hair.”

Maruchan

Okay, this is not the most nutritious product you can eat. It is actually kind of high in fat and it is high in sodium i eat these everyday! although i wouldn’t recommend eating these everyday. One of my friends told me her mom knows alot about nutrition,  she said her mom told her that eating maruchan allot will clog up your arteries….ok i have to admit i have eaten less maruchan after hearing this…but i haven’t stopped…i mean come’on!? i live across a grocery store, i don’t know how to cook anything besides rice & beans and they are only $3.50 for about 12 cups of maruchan!!!

desperate housewives am i normal for watching this?

Am i (a guy) normal if i watch desperate housewives? I’ve just started watching it every Saturday on channel 13 (UPN network) oh what the hell, and its not like i scream out like a little girl saying “oh my god Desperate house wives is on!!!” its more like im flipping threw the channel every Saturday afternoon and i find myself being pulled into this entertaining show. The story lines are amazing, I like how it teaches some valuable lessons about life and well how its so sexual haha..and well come’on Eva langoria is in it. HA!

Cops humiliate you!

Ok something really stupid happen to me once, i had to question if i was blond or not…
Basically My friend was dropping me of from school at home we noticed some cops were following us! they asked us to stop the car, these cops looked very young like they were new at this and were just urging to abuse their power >_> well there was 3 of us in the car, eddy Diego and me, the cop asks eddy for his name, eddy replies: “my name is eddy”, the cop asks Diego for his name Diego replies ” My name is Diego” , the cop asks me for my birth date i replied “My name is Mario” —my name. >_< he then tells me “your not the bright one are you? …ughhh what can you expect?!? i was nervous!!! well you can only imagine how i was made fun of the next day.

Terminator-Salvation

You don’t have to see it, i’ll just tell you it sucked. uhh i will say that T-2 judgment day still remains as the best terminator movie, i don’t know maybe its just that T-2 was so good that i expected more from salvation. The movie was over all “alright” it had its retarded moments like when the impostor Arnold showed up  >__> and then the part….*SPOILER AHEAD”…..when the guy from the future steps on a bomb and then wakes up and the basically the following is said:

John connor: “who are you, who sent you here?”

Future guy: “i was sent here to save everyone from skynet”

john  connor: “that’s a lie, i don’t believe you! do you even know what you are?”

future guy: “im a human”

John connor ” look at yourself!”

ok then the future guy looks at himself only to see that his stomach is composed of metal…basically his a robot with a human heart…well he use to be human, then they turned him into a robot…the retarded thing is he was missing chunks of skin of his arms and fingers and you could see the metal…was this robot from the future that retarded not to notice? or was it just Hollywood?